Tuba Nightmare

For the last 6 months, I’ve been having a recurring nightmare. I didn’t really think of it as a recurring nightmare until I woke up this morning, and thought “Wow. This nightmare has been recurring for quite some time now.” and then it all clicked. “This is a recurring nightmare.”

Lightbulbs, everywhere, flickering in the distance…

So the dream does not happen the same way each time, but the basic premise is the same. Somehow I have a tuba in my hand, and it’s the dress rehearsal before some concert, and I don’t know how to play the damn thing, or I have no music, or my lips fell off, or something. It involves a tuba, and some sort of crisis.

I was talking with my buddy Craig about it, and he’s telling me it’s just like his actor’s dilemma nightmares that he has, being an actor. I told him “but dude, I haven’t played the tuba in 10 years” and he’s like “yea and I don’t do Shakespeare.”

“...and I don’t do Shakepeare”  Of course!

Maybe it has to do with the fact that there’s so much I wanna do musically, but haven’t spent the time last year actually preparing for it like I should.

At any rate, in these dreams they all end the same way. I’m wearing the Plainview-School-District-approved concert uniform, of black slacks, white shirt, clip-on tie, white socks, black shoes from K-mart, and a spray of Johnny (imitation Tommyâ„¢ cologne, $5.00 in select locations in NJ). There’s music in front of me that I can’t read, and I have a solo to do in about 10 seconds in front of an audience of 20 zillion.

I used to be really good at Tuba.  Oh well, I gotta go to work!