Life in Pacific Standard Time

It’s been about a week since my last update… things have been nuts! I was in Cali since Saturday with my buddy Mena… and we ended up drivin from LA to San Francisco up the Pacific Coast on route 1… The view was absolutely incredible…. I’m gonna have to post some pictures I took with my phone.

It’s been an interesting day to say the least. We woke up at around 12:30pm and spent a good amount of time walking all over the place. We ended up at the Frey Norris Gallery near Union Square where we were taken by some incredible works. One artist in particular… Harvey Dinnerstein, is featuring a series on portraits of life in New York… this one particular painting just gets me… its someone we see every day riding the subway, usually the one that tells the conductor to stop the train cuz of problems on the tracks, we usually don’t see anything about this person besides a formality, a functional position in a muncipal transportation system… when Dinnerstein reminded me that this person has a soul, a life, a history, a family to feed, a lover to satisfy….

Another artist featured was Myung Keun Koh, and his “Body house” series of roman and greek sculptures printed on glass houses, giving an incredible 3d hologram effect… I was SO close to buying this particular one… the idea is just genius:
As the day went on we took a bus to Haight Ashbury, where we walked up and down the hills of this amazingly vibrant city.

On the bus we met a man who is going through a divorce who just wanted someone to talk to on the train… but ended up accusing this poor girl of hiding money in her blouse.. year i don’t understand it either, and discovered the beauty of a city who gives out free transfers to passengers just for the HELL of it… i have to say I was very impressed, and as a New Yorker.

I have more to say – but I’m exhausted.. I gotta crash. Anyway – - just wanted to say hi.. so hi.



“Well, Mr. Matthews…”

The day: Monday
The subject at hand: George Feeny, the history teacher from Boy Meets World.

Can we have a picture of the subject?

Why is it that in every stinkin episode, Mr. Feeny just happens to show up? Corey, Tapanga (no offense to anyone but what’s up with that name), and Sean could be in a cave in Thailand, and Mr. Feeny will happen to be there on vacation, to save Corey from whatever it may be… be it pissing off Sean, or pissing off Tapanga, or getting an STD from an underage prostitute.

quite puzzling…


A Texan, An Egyptian, Teen G’rlz, and A Fever….

I was wondering if you were around to bring over some chicken soup…. I don’t mean like you had to cook it or anything… maybe something simple like raman noodle or something… i dunno – - i’m sick!

Ok let’s talk business… if you haven’t been introduced to TEE-GEE-ESS!! You must get better acquainted: Click here for Teen Girl Squad, NOW!

It’s insanity. There’s a new episode in FULL TECHNICOLOR… see what color So-and-So’s hair really is!. There’s something about the voices that crack me up, and the fact that it’s doodled on looseleaf paper that kinda reminds me of what I used to do in high school all day… draw cartoons of the world around me and express my bitterness in a healthy way.

But now, onto more important things….

I got a good friend who’s stuck down in Texas who needs to get his ass to NYC so we can hang…. We were chatting today about life, and all the funny things that come with it. Jared’s one of those people you can be yourself around, and I appreciate him for that… he’s pretty cool for a texan ;) Well, Jared we got a few things on the itenerary for when you get to NYC:

  • Watch the best improv set in NYC - Zinc Bar, Monday Nights, 11:30PM/2AM, Ron Affif, Guitarist… be there!

  • Piss off the soup-man and then give him a guilt trip and have him make us free soup.

  • People-watching at Cafe D’L’Universite, near NYU… you’ll never know what you’ll find… or what you hope you never found.

  • Elevator races at the Mariott Marqis

  • Texas BBQ - I’m not sure you can get margharitas that big even IN Texas!

  • And much, much more….

Ok, and last, but certainly not the least… I give you, the one and only, the woman I’ve been destined for since day one… The sexy, sultry and sophisticated Vivian Salama…
Ok, so get this… Vivian is a journalist in Cairo, and a damn good one at that. We’ve been chatting this evening, about life, and what to name our kids and stuff, and I’ll have you know at this very moment, she’s outside watching the streets mobbed with people, at the end of a soccer game, something reminiscent of when the Yankees won the Series in 1998, except, Egyptian style… which involves a lot more fire, drums, and kahk… She truly is one of a kind, and a woman I’m proud to call my friend…. if you think you’re an adventurous person, you obviously haven’t met Vivo…. For selfish reasons, I hope she comes back to the states ;) but she’s gonna be wherever her heart tells her is right…

And as for me, I’m bout to make some mulukhiyya, and get some indian food, cuz i’m sick as a dog, and someone out there should be bringing me soup, but isn’t for some reason…. ah well – here’s to another sunny day…

EDIT: Ok so, Vivian requested that I put more photos of her on the site… and can you blame her? She’s cute as hell, but can we say, ‘full of ourselves?’ ;) anyway… Here’s a photo of some good times… Get back to NYC so we can throw back a few, ok?



You may have gotten me THIS time, 8-day rain…. Oh, you have no idea what you just started… it’s gonna be the end of you! the end, i say!

So my boy Pete was over yesterday and we ate like bohemian kings. The song is starting to take some sort of amorphous shape, but it is a shape nonetheless… some really great moments, it just needs more structure… i think we’re on the way to something good. Can’t hear a clip just yet… our agent has this whole intellectual property thing… i hope you understand.

Don Caballero, is a new band i just heard about last night. All I have to say is, check out their song titles:

1. Fire Back About Your New Baby’s Sex
2. The Peter Criss Jazz
3. Haven’t Lived Aftro Pop
4. You Drink A Lot Of Coffee For A Teenager
5. Ones All Over The Place
6. I Never Liked You
7. Details On How To Get ICEMAN On Yoru License Plate
8. A Lot Of People Tell Me I Have A Fake British Accent
9. Let’s Face It Pal, You Didn’t Need That Eye Surgery

I’m their biggest fan… and I haven’t even heard their music yet. I’ll let you know how it is. Someone contacted me about my previous complaint about the Sun, in my letter to him. This person claimed that I was “being insensitive” to a celestial body, and that i shouldn’t jump to conclusions about what galactic figures are doing on their time off. All I have to say to you is this…. you were probably in sunny Detroit enjoying the fuzzy feeling of sunlight on your pale ass, while the rest of us were under the deluge… or as someone has called it… celestial diarreah… and my letter was actually very civil… look, me and the sun are close, we diss each other all the time… does intimacy scare you?


Enter: the Sun

I’ve never been so excited to see that big ol’ fireball in the sky… where ya been, dawg? They say you were in your love nest with some french whore in the Detroit, is that true? You have no idea what it’s been like around here, man… people started wondering if you ever existed in the first place. I know, I know, you’ve done a lot for us this summer, but bro, we’re humans… we’re forget easy.

I mean, yea maybe the rain was needed, but for 8 days straight? Isnt’ that a big excessive? Haven’t you heard of “Everything in moderation?”

I’d take it up with Mother Nature, except I keep gettin transferred to her hotline, and I personally can’t afford to use anymore of my crappy Verizon plan’s minutes… Well at any rate, I didn’t let your absense get me down. I went jogging like every day in that rain… which is probably why I’m getting sick at the moment, but whatever, I got balls.

Well, now that you’re back, you got some work to do! Queens Blvd is drenched, can you start drying? See, that’s what happens when you vacate for too long, man… First George W., and now you?? Ok, ok.. i’m getting ahead of myself… i missed ya, man… don’t disappear like that again, alright? At least give us a heads up so we can leave this city and head down to St. Lucia or something.

Ok i gotta run, gotta get to a rehearsal, and get some lunch – i’m starving!

– Paul

P.S. wanna grab dinner later?


Hi-Diddly-Ho ya nas!

What were they thinking?!

Ok, at first glance, the MBC Arabization of the Simpsons, “Al Shamshoon”, sounds like a wonderful idea. When I was at my parents house watching it on ‘DISH’ my fancy was tickled… and it was tickled good…. i got such a kick out of Homer, now called Omar, sounding like someone out of a classic egyptian stage play. And why not… why can’t the people in Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, and of course, Egypt, enjoy Matt Groening’s satire on American life? I mean this show is hands down the best animated series ever created (all you Family Guy fans… please sit down), next to Teen Girl Squad, of course (Click Here to join the madness).

But wait a minute…. in a predominantly Muslim society, I see a few problems already ocurring… bear with me:

1) Beer. Can the simpsons exist without beer? Beer is GLORIFIED by Homer, and his buddies…. Will such glorification be allowed to exist on Middle East television? What about Duff-man? And the Duff Brewery? And Moe’s Tavern???? What will happen to the Flaming Moe????

2) Bart’s prank phonecalls. Let’s try a translation here:

– “Why can’t I find Amanda Hugenkiss?” – “Has anyone seen Mike Rotch lately?” – “I’m looking for a Jaques Strap”

How do you translate that without sounding ridiculous? “Ana 3awez aboos raagil” How do you translate jock strap?? They better come up with some good alternatives

3) Pork – Will Omar have to give up bacon, pork rinds, ham, and other tasty delicacies that has given him so much joy over the last decade?

So rumor has it that all references to pork will be changed to Egyptian grilled beef, and Omar will probably be drinking Pepsi at a Soda Fountain, instead of having a Duff at Moe’s….

And my last question: How the hell do you translate Hi-Diddly-Ho Neighbor-eenos!” into arabic???


The return of Miss Jenkins…

Anna and Darren are two friends of mine who I haven’t seen in a long, long time. A lot has changed since we all hung out together… it’s almost as life had no idea where it was taking the three of us. We sat at dinner one night in a Greek restaurant, and I don’t think none of us could have predicted the 16 months that were to follow, where it was to take us, and how it was to challenge all our friendships….

I miss you guys incredibly, this night, and wish you were by my side, eating a plate of sushi with me, talking about Miss Jenkins…


Back from Montreal

Hey folks,

I’m back from a few days up in Canadia, the land of maple syrup, moose, Celine Dion, and furry woodland creatures. I saw none of these things, in the French Canadian city of Montreal, but it was a good time nonetheless.

We arrived late Saturday afternoon and found our way to the Comfort Inn in Dorvan, which is like this suburb of Montreal… only 10 minutes outside downtown by car. Who would wanna pay so much more to stay downtown, when u can get there from Dorvan with no trouble?

Highlights of the trip:

  • Hike up Parc de Mont Royal
  • Kickin Tom’s ass @ pool ;)
  • and much, much more!

Overall it was a good time… and i’ll have some stories when I have the time to write them out. Until then – - stay gangsta.