2005-04-28 16:28:00

Currently Playing
Emergency & I
By Dismemberment Plan
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So I was cleaning out my hotmail inbox today, and i came across this email that my buddies and i sent back and forth when we graduated college.  We combined all our favorite NYU memories (mostly from sophomore year) in a list…  Back then i looked like this:

Some of these are so incriminating, they had to be left out.   If you really wanna know, ask me. hahahaha!  Seriously, reading this brought back so many memories… it totally made my day

And for the sake of all involved … this post has been deleted ;)


2005-04-26 13:02:00

Currently Playing
I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One
By Yo La Tengo
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I just found out I’m not metro..  I guess anyone who’s seen my car could tell you that.


I am 31% Metrosexual.
Not Too Metrosexual, Sugar!
I may own more than two pair of dress shoes, and maybe a designer suit, but I don?t mind going to the grocery store in sweats. And I may even go a day or two without a shower.


2005-04-26 12:17:00

Currently Playing
Unknown Pleasures
By Joy Division
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On Pidgeons…

So a few weeks ago I noticed this pidgeon on the balcony below me just sitting there day and night…   after my friend convinced me not to throw broccoli at it, it occurred to me that it’s probably nesting.  A few days later, lo and behold, two baby pidgeons emerged from its womb.  the miracle of life, only a few short steps from Queens Boulevard in Forest Hills, NY. 

A few days later one of the babies died, and I found it interesting yet disturbing that they did not get rid of the dead bird… in fact they’re raising their kid right next to the carcass of its dead sibling.  it’s actually becoming part of the nest now – only feathers and a beak remain. 

But that sucker is growing fast! I looked at it yesterday and it’s huge… probably a teenager in bird years… you can tell cuz its in an awkward stage…  not proportional, acne, body hair where there was none before, and i think it has some questions about its sexuality tho i could be wrong.  But its really sheltered, her parents won’t let her out, ever!  Maybe they just don’t wanna deal with letting their kid face the real world, but they gotta understand it will probably rebel.  Last thing we need is another pidgeon roaming our streets tryin to find herself in a cold cruel world. 


2005-04-22 14:50:00

Currently Playing
Rent (1996 Original Broadway Cast)
By Jonathan Larson, Jonathan Larson, Tim Weil, Jeff Potter, Anthony Jackson, Daniel A. Weiss, Ira Siegel, Kenny Brescia, Dominique Derasse, Steve Skinner
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Due to circumstances beyond my control, I believe I lost my fan-base.
I’m still thinking about you all – hope you’re well!

Tell the folks at home, what you’re doing, Roger…

“I’m writing one great song..”



2005-04-21 10:16:00

Currently Playing
Kid A
By Radiohead
Motion Picture Soundtrack
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My Names

If I was a hippie, my name would be Garcia

If I had boobs, they’d be named Cheech and Chong

If I was a porn star, my name would be Dan Rather

If I was a drag queen, my name would be Ursula Uranus

If I was Japanese, my name would be Tomo Kawashi

If I was a stripper, i’d be called Puppy

When I get married, my wife and I are gonna do the Wink Wink.. Nudge Nudge…

If I was a rejected crayola crayon color, I’d be Spousal-Abuse Black & Blue

Below is a photo of me and my bro John…   He is seriously the original™ Rico Suave of the northeast, and I wanna see anyone who comes close to his skills… any takers?  that’s right! i thought so..  silly rabbit….   Johnny – this one’s for you man!

Here’s a photo of two friends I made in Uruguay.   Mad cool guys…  Rainer on the Left and Isma “el jefe de la revolucion rock!”  on the Right 


It doesn’t get better than this…

So, I decided I’m done with DELL computers for good.  They suck, and I want the world to know this.   Why do they suck? Well their parts are completely unreliable… it’s like having sex with a leper.   I am wondering why I stuck with it so long!  Well here’s my DELL history.

Before I go, I just did a google image search for DELL COMPUTERS and look what image came up:


Summer 2003, i decided to buy a laptop of my own.   Dell said they’d make me happy… like I haven’t heard that before.  October 2003, my hard drive fails and I almost lose everything.  Luckily I have mad skills and was able to recover almost everything by hooking the HD to my desktop as a slave.   I get a new HD… Come October 2004, the motherboard fails, and so does the HD.  So from October 2004-December 2004 I was engaged in a WAR with DELL.  I spoke to every off-shore technologist in the South Pacific, and worked my way up to the AMERICAN CALL CENTERS …  (ooooooooooh)   finally i get in touch with Michael Dell’s office, himself, and they end up sending me a brand new refurbished used machine that’s totally souped up.   It is now April 2005, and my computer has failed three times in the last few months, and this time, it’s unrecoverable… So I’m gonna get new parts for it, make it into a decent machine, and eBay-it!    

I’m going MAC - and there aint nuttin you’re gonna do about it.

But enough about me… how are YOU doing?  


2005-04-19 11:39:00

I thought I’d get a decent update since I haven’t given one in a while.   It’s true, as I said in my last entry, there are no more pregnant cows available, so everyone who has been requesting them, please understand, there’s nothing I can do about it at this time…

Now, onto business….

So the wierdest turn of events…  three people whom i know and love are planning to have their wedding on the same day in June 2006!   I’m the best man in one, and in a way I’m a best-man sorta thing in another, and the third well, i’m a groomsman.  Basically these people in these weddings are 5 of the 8 closest people to me in my life, and yea, how the freak do I decide between them?   So I decided to go to NONE of them!  I’m gonna get married in Vegas to the first cocktail waitress that serves me a drink I can sip on and say “that’s a great long island iced tea”... it’s the only fair option.   I could also divide myself into three parts, but Nader said that my schlong has to be at his wedding, so…  i’m making an appointment with a surgeon for like next week sometime.

In other news, I’ve been having some great bonding time with the guys in my life.  One of them, being my dad.. yea can you believe it?   I cooked him dinner for his birthday and we just sat around chillin last thursday, talking about whatever.  It was the best salmon i’ve ever eaten and i’m not saying this to toot my own horn, being that i have no horn to toot, but it’s true.   Here’s the recipe:

2 Salmon Steaks
1 Lemon
Garlic chopped
Fresh Basil from the jar
Salt & Pepper
Plastic Bag

Directions:  put everything in a bag and leave it for like 20 minutes while you work, talk on the phone, or cook something else.  Once 20 minutes have passed by, decide you wanna leave it for like 30 minutes more because the simpsons just came on TV.  Watch episode and laugh if it’s funny.  Return to plastic bag.  Take salmon out of bag and take a can of non-fat cooking spray.  Take off lid and realize that there’s no spray thing.  Go back to the store and return the deffective product, and make sure you get a receipt.  Test the spray out on the store clerk’s hair.  If it no longer sticks to her forehead, you got yourself a winner.   Return to apartment, and play some Dismemberment Plan “Emergency & I”  and set volume to 30dB on your stereo.  Forget to preheat the oven, and remind yourself to do it once the salmon is ready to cook.  Put salmon back in plastic bag and watch Seinfeld thru 2 commercial breaks.  Stick hand in oven for 10 seconds.  If it hurts, you’re good to go!   Use cooking spray on a piece of foil and place foil on a tray and plop those salmon steaks right on there.  Form a pyramid around the steaks with your foil and let it cook for 10 minutes ONLY!! I cannot stress enough how overcooked salmon SUCKS.  Take out of oven after 10 minutes and stick fork to make sure it’s not raw in there… if it is, shove it back in for another 5 minutes, but no more… NO MORE…  don’t give me that face… yea i’m talking to YOU!   Remove from oven.  Take a bite and say “damn, that shit is good!” 

so in conclusion:


So afterwards my buddy John came over and we smoked cigars, drank beer, and talked about how funny life is, and we made a pact to live with no regrets…  John’s a great friend.  He’s like a brother from another mother.  Seriously, when he’s over it’s like vacation for me… no stress, no nothing…  it’s just good times.   The week before, he and I picked up a few older chicks, it was awesome.

Ok I gotta get back to work.  PEACE!